Until my next job comes knocking at my door, I wait, and try to practice patience, now more than ever.
Withdrawal from Writing
Recently, I started uploading short chapters of a new work, written by yours truly. I don't even have a title for it. I just went on and uploaded these...ideas. This story about college kids and doing their thing and keeping on despite the hormones.
So, I was on it, for a short while, and the short while that it was, stoppped right there.
I was asking myself if this was the usual block, or, did I lose the energy to keep writing due to various reasons, none to do with the block.
Honestly, since the career shift that I've been meaning to pursue, my commitment to writing have altered as well.
No longer do I feel the urgency to be in front of the screen, or a perceived blank sheet of paper and typing away.
Instead, I find myself thinking it could always wait, and that my writing could still improve with new experiences over time.
Of course at the back of my head, I'm dying, but my reality is that publishing has crushed my ego, and time is of the essence.
To make new stories mean more time. I can write a page of conversation or narration or both and take 3 hours and not notice it. Novels are my usual course. A novel for me has the page count between 500-700+. Not to mention the time it needs to reflect upon scene by scene, chapter by chapter. The seeming endless changes that I can make if I felt unsatisfied by a particular happening. Or a change of mind or heart. Anything can happen in a novel! The days, weeks, months and years it can take me. The longer, the more complicated, the more it matters to me.
I imagine myself doing this, and then I think of my reality now...
23. Still working for my father. With a BA degree, and an MA-passer to boot, but without any license except my driver's. I have nothing to be proud of except that once upon a time, I used to be reasonably active as a college student, part of a prestigious university chorale, a singer, and that I used to have this passion for writing, whether as a contributing writer, or an editor.
I became tired of these sentiments, and I suppose I simply want to embrace a new chapter of my life that may or may not include the Arts.
As terrifying as it may sound, I seem to be one of those artists who claim themselves to be such, but stopped going any further.
So now, I feel and have allowed myself to be a non-practicioner, but someone else who wants to master a different kind of art.
Lack of Energy...and, There's a Dog in my House
Maybe the lack of energy may have come from withdrawal from writing.
Or that I recently got a dog.
Every day I face this energy-filled entity that stands less than a foot, and grovel until he finally eats his breakfast/lunch/dinner.
I'm no professional, but I try to train him well. Definitely inadequate and/or incorrect training, so I fancy myself saving enough money to get him trained someday, or maybe I'll attend classes as a 'trainer' and do justice for my dog.
Idk.
Nonetheless, having a dog in your house can be energy-zapping, especially if you're the only one actively looking out for him.
I have to be very thankful though; our new help has been very generous with her time and energy with Potch. She helps me clean after Potch and feed him. It's been a blessing. The last help was just as generous, but Grace is far more considerate and thoughtful. I highly appreciate this (and I tell her my thanks!!)
So despite the lack of energy, the extended help has given me some of that energy back.
I recently told a friend, Madeline Castillo, whose blog I'd like to promote, entitled 'Thoughts and Thingamajigs'
http://maddiewritesagain.blogspot.com/2013/01/lifes-lemons.html
that spending too much energy on the 'big' things we don't know, or will never know (ie. destiny, fate) ain't worth the freaking worry.
So I tell myself the same thing now; sh*t happens when it happens.
Until then, honestly? Hakuna Matata.
For the things you can prevent, by all means, work on it, but seriously speaking, reality also translates into things that we cannot control, so for the things that we cannot, that is beyond our depth and reach, Hakuna Matata.
On the post-script: keep the faith.
--Precisely because you have faith that you don't have to worry for the rest of the day.
Withdrawal from Writing
Recently, I started uploading short chapters of a new work, written by yours truly. I don't even have a title for it. I just went on and uploaded these...ideas. This story about college kids and doing their thing and keeping on despite the hormones.
So, I was on it, for a short while, and the short while that it was, stoppped right there.
I was asking myself if this was the usual block, or, did I lose the energy to keep writing due to various reasons, none to do with the block.
Honestly, since the career shift that I've been meaning to pursue, my commitment to writing have altered as well.
No longer do I feel the urgency to be in front of the screen, or a perceived blank sheet of paper and typing away.
Instead, I find myself thinking it could always wait, and that my writing could still improve with new experiences over time.
Of course at the back of my head, I'm dying, but my reality is that publishing has crushed my ego, and time is of the essence.
To make new stories mean more time. I can write a page of conversation or narration or both and take 3 hours and not notice it. Novels are my usual course. A novel for me has the page count between 500-700+. Not to mention the time it needs to reflect upon scene by scene, chapter by chapter. The seeming endless changes that I can make if I felt unsatisfied by a particular happening. Or a change of mind or heart. Anything can happen in a novel! The days, weeks, months and years it can take me. The longer, the more complicated, the more it matters to me.
I imagine myself doing this, and then I think of my reality now...
23. Still working for my father. With a BA degree, and an MA-passer to boot, but without any license except my driver's. I have nothing to be proud of except that once upon a time, I used to be reasonably active as a college student, part of a prestigious university chorale, a singer, and that I used to have this passion for writing, whether as a contributing writer, or an editor.
I became tired of these sentiments, and I suppose I simply want to embrace a new chapter of my life that may or may not include the Arts.
As terrifying as it may sound, I seem to be one of those artists who claim themselves to be such, but stopped going any further.
So now, I feel and have allowed myself to be a non-practicioner, but someone else who wants to master a different kind of art.
Lack of Energy...and, There's a Dog in my House
Maybe the lack of energy may have come from withdrawal from writing.
Or that I recently got a dog.
Every day I face this energy-filled entity that stands less than a foot, and grovel until he finally eats his breakfast/lunch/dinner.
I'm no professional, but I try to train him well. Definitely inadequate and/or incorrect training, so I fancy myself saving enough money to get him trained someday, or maybe I'll attend classes as a 'trainer' and do justice for my dog.
Idk.
Nonetheless, having a dog in your house can be energy-zapping, especially if you're the only one actively looking out for him.
I have to be very thankful though; our new help has been very generous with her time and energy with Potch. She helps me clean after Potch and feed him. It's been a blessing. The last help was just as generous, but Grace is far more considerate and thoughtful. I highly appreciate this (and I tell her my thanks!!)
So despite the lack of energy, the extended help has given me some of that energy back.
I recently told a friend, Madeline Castillo, whose blog I'd like to promote, entitled 'Thoughts and Thingamajigs'
http://maddiewritesagain.blogspot.com/2013/01/lifes-lemons.html
that spending too much energy on the 'big' things we don't know, or will never know (ie. destiny, fate) ain't worth the freaking worry.
So I tell myself the same thing now; sh*t happens when it happens.
Until then, honestly? Hakuna Matata.
For the things you can prevent, by all means, work on it, but seriously speaking, reality also translates into things that we cannot control, so for the things that we cannot, that is beyond our depth and reach, Hakuna Matata.
On the post-script: keep the faith.
--Precisely because you have faith that you don't have to worry for the rest of the day.
